Valentine's Day Expectations

Valentine's Day is just around the corner! I know that as excited as every woman is, her companion is congruently disappointed. Valentine's Day is two things...a "Hallmark" Holiday and a set-up.

I would rather discuss how this is a set-up for disaster than the commercialization of a cold day in mid-winter.
Valentine's Day is supposed to be a day for L-O-V-E. Men are expected to express this adoration through cut vegetation and milk chocolate shaped organs. This is never enough. These items are just to cliche. And no woman wants a cliche man, right? Men will go above and beyond to locate the most beautiful flowers and richest candies to surprise and satisfy a lady, when what the lady really wants is a surprise. Chocolate covered hearts and chocolate filled hearts will only add to their calorie count in the New Year's resolution workout routine, right? That's the answer that I have been given for many Valentine's Day...which brings me to my next point - do not ask them what they want...

For years I have been the image of practicality. If a lady wants something, I want to make sure I understand what it is...that way we have a good understanding before we have misunderstanding. Chocolate filled hearts? Is that a beef heart from the grocers freezer stuffed with chocolate ganache? Or is it a Russell Stover double cocoa supreme? I want to be absolutely clear when I must provide these gifts. Which brings me to my next point - I MUST provide these gifts...

Do not be that guy that doesn't provide your gal pal with a Valentine's token of affection...even if she insists. I have made this mistake, too. Anyway, all of her friends will inquire about your Valentine's offerings...she would rather bag on your non-effort than make up an elaborate tale of your profession of love from a top the nearest building in front of the whole town. Get something. Chocolate. Or with petals. Not peddles. Or paddles. Which brings me to my final point...gifts that shouldn't be given:

1) Diamonds or an engagement ring. THAT is cliche.
2) White chocolate. It has none of the "benefits" or milk or dark chocolate. It's just oil and sugar.
3) A Happy Meal...even if Mickey D's is her fave...
4) Anything with a cord. My dad always said women needed nice things. Nice dishwasher, nice irons, nice brooms. I agree, but not for this occasion.
5) A Health Club gift certificate. There may be 1 in 1000 ladies who would enjoy this...tough odds.

Now, obviously I wouldn't write this in a serious tone...Valentine's Day is the official day to profess your admiration. Women and men alike deserve to be honored on this day. Men often complain about the holiday because of the pressure to adequately exhibit their fixation. It's a tough holiday to live up to, especially on a yearly basis. Does getting the same gift year after year prove that your love has not grown? Should you increase in effort and greenbacks on an annual basis?

I have found that my girly-friend just likes it if I can remember the date...which is probably the case for %99 of us - so just relax.

Enjoy the day...