Well the turkey has been roasted, eaten, and leftover...and eaten again. I'm sure I would normally pack on a few pounds, but my recent bout with a food borne illness of less than conspicuous origins put me on the sideline for the better half of a week that generally brings tremendous eating...
Nevertheless, the 4-H Center is gearing up for holiday party season. It's a favorite time of mine...I'm lucky to work in a place where we must peddle the holiday spirit. There's lots of holiday lights, and yes, food to be taken in. However, should the cold weather not arrive, I will refute the season. Cold weather is very important for the holiday season. Otherwise, the big guy in the red suit will certainly overheat as he strikes out for the 3 billion global believers. Milk and cookies? Naw. Leave that joker some Gatorade. Fruit Punch, or course. Also - the holiday sweaters that many of us fawn over will lay folded in their boxes, crammed to the collar with moth balls. The Farmer's Almanac predicted a wet and cold winter...show's what they know. It's been more tropical and tepid. And all that firewood that was either cut or purchased to sentimentally and nostalgically warm your humble abode? Well, if you stack it high enough, it makes a great shady corner to relax in when the mercury tops out.
The Friday after Thanksgiving is Black Friday. Sure, I just told you something you already know. It's when America's retailers go from red to black on their ledgers...and it's when more trees are cut than any other day of the year. Sad times. However, roughly 30 million families will hoist a tree inside their homes. North Carolina is responsible for many of these trees...some, in fact, have even graced Rockefeller Center and the White House. I'm all for tree cutting. Especially if it is done sustainably. Tree farming, from Christmas trees to pine logging, is generally very responsible. Rotational plans, pest control, and prescribed burnings are used in many tree farms...and they're all goof for the environment, and the animals that live within it. Still, it's strange that people will haul a dying tree into their home, set it in water, then hook it to electricity....just before they put hundred of dollars of gifts underneath it. I call those gifts "fuel". Always sit with trees that are lit and unplug them when not basking in their luminescence. Moreover, when the tree is done doing it's duty around New Year's, check with local officials and find a suitable pond of lake to lower your tree in to...it makes excellent fish habitat! Some people have closely guarded the secret whereabouts of their sunken trees. I wish it would give me an advantage in duck hunting. Speaking of which...
The waterfowling has been terrible. For those looking to come down and pursue fowl with either camera or gun - best of luck. The weather has been abysmal and the only thing to see are the swans. But they are great. In other unrelated news, my Auburn Tigers were handily beaten by the Alabama Crimson Tide in the annual Iron Bowl. But hey, every squirrel eventually finds a nut. And Alabama has it's share of nuts.
Enjoy the day...
November 28, 2011
November 11, 2011
111111
It's Vets Day. I'm thankful for the brave men who are much braver than I am, their families who sacrifice more than I could ever imagine, and for those vets who paid the ultimate price so that I have the freedom to worship, think, play, and even blog on my own accord. With that said...
Today is 11/11/11. You can reverse it, and it's the same thing. With the right font, you can turn it upside down and still have the correct date. 11 is a fun number, and here's why...
11 is the number of the jersey worn by my favorite Auburn quarterback of all-time...Stan White. He was the first quarterback I can remember when my dad luckily took me to so many football games. We literally remember each one, but not for the games, but rather the time it rained, the time we saw a guy wet his pants, how many hotdogs I ate, and the time the barn burned. Great memories of #11 and poppa...
11:11 was the alleged favorite time on the watch of my high school, puppy-love girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. Why do I remember this? We talked, well she talked, on the phone all night long and it came up every night back in 1999. Her favorite time was 12:34. I need to get a life...
11 push-ups was my max when I committed to changing my life and habits back in 2005. Now I can do, I swear, 11 times the push-ups of anybody you know. That day I though I was weak.
11-0 was Auburn's record in 1993. the only undefeated and untied team in College Football. We weren't crowned the National Championship because of the 1111 year conspiracy against Auburn.
Eleventeen is my favorite number.
I was eleven years old when my sister told me she would beat me up for tearing of the heads of her Barbie, Skipper, and Ken dolls. I was also 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 21, 22, 23, and 26 when she said she would do this.
I buy decoys in dozens, but I always pull one aside...I try to always hunt in multiples of eleven decoys. Not really.
Nevertheless, 11/11/11 will be a day for babies to be born and couples to be wed. It should be an easy anniversary to remember. I will get married on 14/14/14...
Enjoy the day...
Today is 11/11/11. You can reverse it, and it's the same thing. With the right font, you can turn it upside down and still have the correct date. 11 is a fun number, and here's why...
11 is the number of the jersey worn by my favorite Auburn quarterback of all-time...Stan White. He was the first quarterback I can remember when my dad luckily took me to so many football games. We literally remember each one, but not for the games, but rather the time it rained, the time we saw a guy wet his pants, how many hotdogs I ate, and the time the barn burned. Great memories of #11 and poppa...
11:11 was the alleged favorite time on the watch of my high school, puppy-love girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. Why do I remember this? We talked, well she talked, on the phone all night long and it came up every night back in 1999. Her favorite time was 12:34. I need to get a life...
11 push-ups was my max when I committed to changing my life and habits back in 2005. Now I can do, I swear, 11 times the push-ups of anybody you know. That day I though I was weak.
11-0 was Auburn's record in 1993. the only undefeated and untied team in College Football. We weren't crowned the National Championship because of the 1111 year conspiracy against Auburn.
Eleventeen is my favorite number.
I was eleven years old when my sister told me she would beat me up for tearing of the heads of her Barbie, Skipper, and Ken dolls. I was also 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 21, 22, 23, and 26 when she said she would do this.
I buy decoys in dozens, but I always pull one aside...I try to always hunt in multiples of eleven decoys. Not really.
Nevertheless, 11/11/11 will be a day for babies to be born and couples to be wed. It should be an easy anniversary to remember. I will get married on 14/14/14...
Enjoy the day...
November 10, 2011
No Smarter, Waterfowl Season
Well folks, the reduction in my blg totals in the past week are a direct result of the pain created by my wisdom tooth, which apparently was struck with an infection at the root. I knew it when it hit. And it hit like a ton of bricks. For hours on end I could sit, stand, play, talk...then the sharp pain would sting and remind me that I do in fact have a dentist. In keeping with tradition, my oral health seems to always take a nosedive as the waterfowl season comes in. Either way, removal of the wisdom tooth is imminent, and I actually look forward to it, despite my loathe for the whir of the dentist's drill and the tap-tap of his metallic mouth explorer. But my dentist is great, and he has helped me when friends refused to pull my teeth.
Waterfowl season is around the corner, the corner being Saturday. I look forward to it almost as much as the first day of summer camp. Both can bring surprises, but they both bring lots of fun. I spend nine months of the year thinking about both, and three months of the year living through both. Both leave any true devotee extraordinarily exhausted in it's respective aftermath. As late as the nights are in operating a summer camp, the waterfowl season can bring just as early mornings. But, being able to meet the sun on it's way out of it's wintry bed over the Atlantic is a genuine blessing, just as seeing it set over the Albemarle in the summer. Without getting to mushy, all waterfowlers are required to mention the following things to those who are considered novices to the sport. I am lucky and see lots of waterfowl. But still, I am no expert, however, consider the following tips as published by "experts":
Scouting is important to find ducks. You absolutely must go to where the ducks want to be. I scout as a safety precaution. Finding stumps in the daylight with your eyeballs is a lot better than finding them with your prop in the predawn darkness.
Get an early start. the public boat ramps in eastern NC are a total circus, complete with clowns and donkeys. If you want to beat the crowds and have an enjoyable experience at the boat ramp, try to be there early. You'll also have the best chance of getting to "your" spot. Always drive cautiously and ensure your boat's running lights are operable and that lifejackets are donned. Fire extinguishers, air horns, whistles, and flares are also great in the event of an emergency. I even take a change of clothes for the inevitable spill I'll take.
Make sure your decoys are nice and clean and well-rigged. Many a duck has flared or spooked by the dirt dobber nest that is firmly entrenched on the neck of it's plastic Judas. Decoy lines that are too short will leave you a decoy short in the end. Watching your decoys float away is tough...especially when the birds are decoying to the ill-anchored decoy that is adrift well outside of shooting range.
Duck calling is something that everyone believes they can do and do well. For those that know me and know where I like to set-up, my news to you is: Your calling is terrible. You need to practice in the privacy of your own yard, and not while in your blind. It hurts the ears of your dog, for crying out loud. Call calm on calm days, and call with authority on powerful, churlish days.
Cooking ducks is just as good as hunting them. I like to pick my ducks...that's where the good, flavorful fat is. I like to smoke or grill mine, but some people prefer to deep fry them to a golden boot leather texture. Game is safest when cooked to well-doneness, but I generally like mine medium rare and chewable.
Licenses and stamps are required by law. Make sure you have them all. Mr. Green Jeans will be out to check on you. There is no excuse for pursuing any wild game without purchasing a license. License fees go to management and protection of game species, so you'd actually be doing yourself a favor in the long run. And federal waterfowl stamps are true works of art and are highly valued to collectors.
Take a child hunting. Make sure they have had their hunter safety class before you allow them to carry a firearm. Even if they can't carry a gun, the fellowship in the marsh is second to few others. Give them a whistle and let them toot away. Lots of duck species merely whistle, and it is hard to mess up a whistling routine. Let them have a "part" in the hunt. Also, take a long plenty of snacks for kids...they always get hungry. And when they are cold, it's time to leave. Don't make it miserable for them!
Enjoy the day...
Waterfowl season is around the corner, the corner being Saturday. I look forward to it almost as much as the first day of summer camp. Both can bring surprises, but they both bring lots of fun. I spend nine months of the year thinking about both, and three months of the year living through both. Both leave any true devotee extraordinarily exhausted in it's respective aftermath. As late as the nights are in operating a summer camp, the waterfowl season can bring just as early mornings. But, being able to meet the sun on it's way out of it's wintry bed over the Atlantic is a genuine blessing, just as seeing it set over the Albemarle in the summer. Without getting to mushy, all waterfowlers are required to mention the following things to those who are considered novices to the sport. I am lucky and see lots of waterfowl. But still, I am no expert, however, consider the following tips as published by "experts":
Scouting is important to find ducks. You absolutely must go to where the ducks want to be. I scout as a safety precaution. Finding stumps in the daylight with your eyeballs is a lot better than finding them with your prop in the predawn darkness.
Get an early start. the public boat ramps in eastern NC are a total circus, complete with clowns and donkeys. If you want to beat the crowds and have an enjoyable experience at the boat ramp, try to be there early. You'll also have the best chance of getting to "your" spot. Always drive cautiously and ensure your boat's running lights are operable and that lifejackets are donned. Fire extinguishers, air horns, whistles, and flares are also great in the event of an emergency. I even take a change of clothes for the inevitable spill I'll take.
Make sure your decoys are nice and clean and well-rigged. Many a duck has flared or spooked by the dirt dobber nest that is firmly entrenched on the neck of it's plastic Judas. Decoy lines that are too short will leave you a decoy short in the end. Watching your decoys float away is tough...especially when the birds are decoying to the ill-anchored decoy that is adrift well outside of shooting range.
Duck calling is something that everyone believes they can do and do well. For those that know me and know where I like to set-up, my news to you is: Your calling is terrible. You need to practice in the privacy of your own yard, and not while in your blind. It hurts the ears of your dog, for crying out loud. Call calm on calm days, and call with authority on powerful, churlish days.
Cooking ducks is just as good as hunting them. I like to pick my ducks...that's where the good, flavorful fat is. I like to smoke or grill mine, but some people prefer to deep fry them to a golden boot leather texture. Game is safest when cooked to well-doneness, but I generally like mine medium rare and chewable.
Licenses and stamps are required by law. Make sure you have them all. Mr. Green Jeans will be out to check on you. There is no excuse for pursuing any wild game without purchasing a license. License fees go to management and protection of game species, so you'd actually be doing yourself a favor in the long run. And federal waterfowl stamps are true works of art and are highly valued to collectors.
Take a child hunting. Make sure they have had their hunter safety class before you allow them to carry a firearm. Even if they can't carry a gun, the fellowship in the marsh is second to few others. Give them a whistle and let them toot away. Lots of duck species merely whistle, and it is hard to mess up a whistling routine. Let them have a "part" in the hunt. Also, take a long plenty of snacks for kids...they always get hungry. And when they are cold, it's time to leave. Don't make it miserable for them!
Enjoy the day...
November 3, 2011
Talkin' Guide
I have had enough. Enough of the piedmonters and hilltoppers and mountain toppers comin' east and pronoucing everything how they please. It's hard to get rougher than it does in the summer when so many out-of-staters come through on their way to the Banks. But the machismo of those fro Jersey is outmatched by the manly-men of the mid-state and their macho fishing and hunting schemes. Sure the bounty of the fish and game here is impressive...but it we pronounced Raleigh with the recklessness that they all pronounced Tyrrell, there'd be a referendum for sure. If you are from west of I-95, you should practice. One of the most daunting questions ever asked of me in my early days as an immigrant to the Outer Banks was "You ain't from 'round here, are ye?" My response was always "Nawsuh, I'm from Alabammer"...which, it turns out, gets a little more respect than if I had been from Raleigh - or worse Charlotte. I have no idea why...
Nevertheless, I have included a list of words and common places, along with a pronunciation guide that should help all of those living 100 feet above sea level to fit in when ordering at a restaurant, seeking directions, or asking about the nearest Wal-Mart. It's all in the brogue...
Common Places that are generally mis-pronounced:
Perquimans: Say "Purr-kwe-minz"
Tyrrell: Say "Turl"
Pasquotank: Say "PASS-kwo-tank"
Washington: Say "Little Washington"
Beaufort: Say "Bo-fert"
Chowan: Say "CHO-won"
Edenton: Say "EE-din-ten"
Martin: Say "MAH-ten"
Plymouth: Say "Pluh-muff"
County: Say "Cayn-tee"
Common words to practice:
Fish should be pronounced "Feesh"
Water should be pronounced "Wuh-der"
Dinner should be pronounced "Din-nuh"
Tide is pronounced "Toid"...and all long "I" sounds have a deep "oi" sound...
The following names are actual places or towns, not jokes, so don't seem uncertain when asking directions to:
Gull Rock, Nebraska, Frying Pan, Mashoes, Gum Neck, Swan Quarter, Chocowinity, Rocky Hock, Barco, Last Chance, Lowland, Germantown, Hobucken, Old Trap, and of course, Mattamuskeet.
On your way east, it might be helpful to get some mosquito repellant. Tick repellent is a good idea, too, as most of the mosquitoes are so big that when they land on you, a tick crawls off of the mosquito and on to your skin. Consider stopping by a Wal-Mart on your way, too. Once you're in the heart of the Inner Banks, starting at Plymouth, you're at least 30 minutes from a Wal-Mart, unless you live in Elizabeth City, Williamston, Washington, or Kitty Hawk. But the local gas stations generally carry the essentials such as bread, milk, batteries, and mosquito and tick repellent.
Wildlife to watch for when commuting - Red Wolves are easily identifiable by their beautiful satellite neck collar. Black bears are tough to spot at night, mainly because they are as dark as the night. Many a bear and compact auto have met it's maker by being in the road simultaneously. Also, alligators don't normally cross the roads, unless a good blow out of the north empties the creeks into the roads. October is the opossum mating season, so expect to see them cruising the center line looking for other opossums cruising the center line. And youll certainly see deer. Otters, nutria, skunkapes, and the occasional black cougar will also jaywalk in any remote corner of this state. Oh, and hunting dogs are also prevalent through December.
Be prepared for the wind, too. Once it starts blowing in October, it won't blow for long. Starting at sun-up, you can expect the wind to die down around mid-June. If you're driving on HWY 12 along the Outer Banks, the saltspray and sand can punish your face and car. The highway can even have mini-dunes, so be careful. If you decide to go for a swamp hike, leave the breadcrumbs at home...it's like ringing a dinner bell. Instead, tie a rope around your waist and connect it to your car, before hiking into the wilderness. And watch for snakes...they generally begin hibernating around Christmas before majestically re-emerging on New Year's Day.
A few more things: A boat ramp is called a "boat slide", crab trap is called a "crab pot", and the ocean, is always on the right...
Enjoy the day...
Nevertheless, I have included a list of words and common places, along with a pronunciation guide that should help all of those living 100 feet above sea level to fit in when ordering at a restaurant, seeking directions, or asking about the nearest Wal-Mart. It's all in the brogue...
Common Places that are generally mis-pronounced:
Perquimans: Say "Purr-kwe-minz"
Tyrrell: Say "Turl"
Pasquotank: Say "PASS-kwo-tank"
Washington: Say "Little Washington"
Beaufort: Say "Bo-fert"
Chowan: Say "CHO-won"
Edenton: Say "EE-din-ten"
Martin: Say "MAH-ten"
Plymouth: Say "Pluh-muff"
County: Say "Cayn-tee"
Common words to practice:
Fish should be pronounced "Feesh"
Water should be pronounced "Wuh-der"
Dinner should be pronounced "Din-nuh"
Tide is pronounced "Toid"...and all long "I" sounds have a deep "oi" sound...
The following names are actual places or towns, not jokes, so don't seem uncertain when asking directions to:
Gull Rock, Nebraska, Frying Pan, Mashoes, Gum Neck, Swan Quarter, Chocowinity, Rocky Hock, Barco, Last Chance, Lowland, Germantown, Hobucken, Old Trap, and of course, Mattamuskeet.
On your way east, it might be helpful to get some mosquito repellant. Tick repellent is a good idea, too, as most of the mosquitoes are so big that when they land on you, a tick crawls off of the mosquito and on to your skin. Consider stopping by a Wal-Mart on your way, too. Once you're in the heart of the Inner Banks, starting at Plymouth, you're at least 30 minutes from a Wal-Mart, unless you live in Elizabeth City, Williamston, Washington, or Kitty Hawk. But the local gas stations generally carry the essentials such as bread, milk, batteries, and mosquito and tick repellent.
Wildlife to watch for when commuting - Red Wolves are easily identifiable by their beautiful satellite neck collar. Black bears are tough to spot at night, mainly because they are as dark as the night. Many a bear and compact auto have met it's maker by being in the road simultaneously. Also, alligators don't normally cross the roads, unless a good blow out of the north empties the creeks into the roads. October is the opossum mating season, so expect to see them cruising the center line looking for other opossums cruising the center line. And youll certainly see deer. Otters, nutria, skunkapes, and the occasional black cougar will also jaywalk in any remote corner of this state. Oh, and hunting dogs are also prevalent through December.
Be prepared for the wind, too. Once it starts blowing in October, it won't blow for long. Starting at sun-up, you can expect the wind to die down around mid-June. If you're driving on HWY 12 along the Outer Banks, the saltspray and sand can punish your face and car. The highway can even have mini-dunes, so be careful. If you decide to go for a swamp hike, leave the breadcrumbs at home...it's like ringing a dinner bell. Instead, tie a rope around your waist and connect it to your car, before hiking into the wilderness. And watch for snakes...they generally begin hibernating around Christmas before majestically re-emerging on New Year's Day.
A few more things: A boat ramp is called a "boat slide", crab trap is called a "crab pot", and the ocean, is always on the right...
Enjoy the day...
November 2, 2011
A Special Day
November 2 is a very special day. Other than it being the second day of my favorite month, it is also National Deviled Egg Day. Oh my goodness what shall I do to commemorate this spectacular day...if only I knew how to make deviled eggs! Soon enough, it'll be Thanksgiving, and I surmise that I'll be able to pop as many into my mouth as I please, or at least until the platter goes empty.
First of all, November is a great month for several reasons...the weather finally begins to turn cool and become predictable. Also, as I mentioned earlier, Thanksgiving occurs near the end of the month, and I can eat like I do only twice per year. College football actually becomes relevant for all fans, too. College football, the only sport without a playoff to determine it's national champion, sorts itself out with rivalry games, conference championship games, and visits from bowl representatives...and that matters because all of the good bowl games happen on New Year's Eve or later. Oh, yeah, and waterfowl migration peaks at this time in North Carolina - the Tundra Swans make their first appearances, along with thousands of diving ducks such as bluebills, redheads, canvasback, and buffleheads. And then, of course, there's deviled egg day.
About the cool weather...I have always argued that you can control body temperature much better than in the hot summer months. When you're hot, you cna only take off so many layers before you get to spend a night in the local lockup. However, if it's cool or cold outside, just keep piling on the outerwear...and the only thing I do not like about the cold weather is the annoying frost on car windows...or an ice storm that puts travel on ice. What a clever sentence that was...
Thanksgiving is great because, well, you get to eat Turkey and Ham and Turducken, all in the same meal. Green beans, sweet potato casserole, and deviled eggs round out the savory portion of my plate(s) on Thanksgiving. There's also the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, this overrated and over-the-top performance is worth a look on television, if only for the nostalgia it brings me. Also, desserts can be tackled with as much reckless abandon as the other foods, too. Oh yeah, there's leftovers, too. The Iron Bowl - Auburn and Alabama's rivalry game, which is one of ESPN's Top 10 rivalries in all of sports, commences on the following Saturday. I haven't missed an in-person appearance since 1994, and only one total miss since 1990...all thanks to my dad. I've been able to witness the transition of an Alabama-dominated rivalry, to one owned for the most part by my beloved Auburn Tigers. Oh, did I mention leftovers...
And the waterfowl migration is completely noteworthy because I'll spend the first two hours of daylight for nearly 45 days, watching and aiming at the elusive birds from the north. Each day's sunrise is a minor miracle and I can easily tell my friends that "yes, the sun will rise again." It always does.
Anyway, back to deviled eggs...for the longest time, I had relegated the DE to a dish prepared by only the oldest of women for the oldest of men at the weekly covered dish luncheon at church. There was nary a time, though, when I bypassed the platter of DE's without at least lifting one for my very own. I always assumed that "deviled" was in reference to a possibly spicy filling applied to the eggs. Either way, deviled eggs - or picnic eggs - are hard boiled eggs, which are subsequently peeled, sliced in half lengthwise, after which the yolk is removed and then mixed with a variety of items including, but not limited to or necessarily including all of the following: Mayonnaise, mustard, cayenne pepper, relish, parsley. After the mixture is made, it's scooped up and returned into the egg "cups", which were created by slicing the eggs lengthwise and removing the original yolk. Still, with all the work that is put into them, I can down one wholly. They are a truly southern hors d'oeuvre...
Enjoy the day...
First of all, November is a great month for several reasons...the weather finally begins to turn cool and become predictable. Also, as I mentioned earlier, Thanksgiving occurs near the end of the month, and I can eat like I do only twice per year. College football actually becomes relevant for all fans, too. College football, the only sport without a playoff to determine it's national champion, sorts itself out with rivalry games, conference championship games, and visits from bowl representatives...and that matters because all of the good bowl games happen on New Year's Eve or later. Oh, yeah, and waterfowl migration peaks at this time in North Carolina - the Tundra Swans make their first appearances, along with thousands of diving ducks such as bluebills, redheads, canvasback, and buffleheads. And then, of course, there's deviled egg day.
About the cool weather...I have always argued that you can control body temperature much better than in the hot summer months. When you're hot, you cna only take off so many layers before you get to spend a night in the local lockup. However, if it's cool or cold outside, just keep piling on the outerwear...and the only thing I do not like about the cold weather is the annoying frost on car windows...or an ice storm that puts travel on ice. What a clever sentence that was...
Thanksgiving is great because, well, you get to eat Turkey and Ham and Turducken, all in the same meal. Green beans, sweet potato casserole, and deviled eggs round out the savory portion of my plate(s) on Thanksgiving. There's also the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, this overrated and over-the-top performance is worth a look on television, if only for the nostalgia it brings me. Also, desserts can be tackled with as much reckless abandon as the other foods, too. Oh yeah, there's leftovers, too. The Iron Bowl - Auburn and Alabama's rivalry game, which is one of ESPN's Top 10 rivalries in all of sports, commences on the following Saturday. I haven't missed an in-person appearance since 1994, and only one total miss since 1990...all thanks to my dad. I've been able to witness the transition of an Alabama-dominated rivalry, to one owned for the most part by my beloved Auburn Tigers. Oh, did I mention leftovers...
And the waterfowl migration is completely noteworthy because I'll spend the first two hours of daylight for nearly 45 days, watching and aiming at the elusive birds from the north. Each day's sunrise is a minor miracle and I can easily tell my friends that "yes, the sun will rise again." It always does.
Anyway, back to deviled eggs...for the longest time, I had relegated the DE to a dish prepared by only the oldest of women for the oldest of men at the weekly covered dish luncheon at church. There was nary a time, though, when I bypassed the platter of DE's without at least lifting one for my very own. I always assumed that "deviled" was in reference to a possibly spicy filling applied to the eggs. Either way, deviled eggs - or picnic eggs - are hard boiled eggs, which are subsequently peeled, sliced in half lengthwise, after which the yolk is removed and then mixed with a variety of items including, but not limited to or necessarily including all of the following: Mayonnaise, mustard, cayenne pepper, relish, parsley. After the mixture is made, it's scooped up and returned into the egg "cups", which were created by slicing the eggs lengthwise and removing the original yolk. Still, with all the work that is put into them, I can down one wholly. They are a truly southern hors d'oeuvre...
Enjoy the day...
November 1, 2011
Tricked
Well, it happened. I got tricked by someone. On Halloween. The second ldest trick in the book directly below the "ol' toilet paper in the treetops" trick. This trick was the venerable, yet silly "ol' Vaseline on the Jeep driver's side door handle" trick. I nearly fell backwards this morning when the momentum I usually apply to open my vehicle's door produced no results. I hope nobody saw me or heard me. Wiping my hands, I used words such as "Dern" and "Heck" several times. And at no time, did producing these words at beyond acceptable decibel levels produce a clean pair of hands.
While Vaselining the door handle has some obvious benefits, it continues to rank low on the scales of greatness. TP in the trees is a trick that all in the neighborhood get to enjoy. The White Halloween, though can be dangerous. Some people have lit the TP on fire to rid the trees of the beautiful drapery. What happens next often ends up setting the tree itself on fire. My mom, embarrassingly enough, welcomed the rolling, as she saw it as a great way to avoid purchasing toilet paper, despite the coupons she had clipped. Instead of driving to the grocer, she could walk to the bottom of our driveway. I imagine that toilet paper was filled with dirt, leaf giblets, and insects, but she never mentioned it...
Vaselining a door handle is a discrete way of embarrassing your victim, all in his or her own privacy. No one, unless lurking in the bushes, will see the ensuing embarrassment though.
Still I got no candy on Halloween. What a disappointment. I never even saw the Purple Man. I did see a black cat in my pursuit of a festive Halloween. But no black bear...
I know who tricked me, though. Revenge is a dish best served cold. In the cold. The trickster will remain anonymous, but one hint should be revealed...it's name rhymes with Bee Cripture.
Enjoy the day...
While Vaselining the door handle has some obvious benefits, it continues to rank low on the scales of greatness. TP in the trees is a trick that all in the neighborhood get to enjoy. The White Halloween, though can be dangerous. Some people have lit the TP on fire to rid the trees of the beautiful drapery. What happens next often ends up setting the tree itself on fire. My mom, embarrassingly enough, welcomed the rolling, as she saw it as a great way to avoid purchasing toilet paper, despite the coupons she had clipped. Instead of driving to the grocer, she could walk to the bottom of our driveway. I imagine that toilet paper was filled with dirt, leaf giblets, and insects, but she never mentioned it...
Vaselining a door handle is a discrete way of embarrassing your victim, all in his or her own privacy. No one, unless lurking in the bushes, will see the ensuing embarrassment though.
Still I got no candy on Halloween. What a disappointment. I never even saw the Purple Man. I did see a black cat in my pursuit of a festive Halloween. But no black bear...
I know who tricked me, though. Revenge is a dish best served cold. In the cold. The trickster will remain anonymous, but one hint should be revealed...it's name rhymes with Bee Cripture.
Enjoy the day...
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