ABC aired the season finale of the Bachelor last night...apparently he was on the wings of love. Whatever that means. Love has no wings...or feet. Nevertheless, he picked his soulmate. Whatever that means, too.
I have two problems with the Bachelor.
First and foremost, the show is dedicated to filming a man or woman's heartbreak, in digital format, to last forever and serve as a reminder of how miserable life can be to some folks. Cameras tend to pan in on exceptional tear flow or extreme angst. To make matters worse, the crew of the show searches in vain for some of the most romantic/beautiful.expensive places on earth so that the "falling in love" process can be expedited. This is always a good plan. When cooking barbecue ribs, always turn the heat up and cook them fast...right? Marriage and love is like barbecue, I think. I like the prospect of barbecue, much better, though. Last night as the Bachelor professed his love for the lady he actually dumped left me wondering how the "winner" would feel when watching the finale. Apparently, she didn't care.
The second major problem with the Bachelor, is that it is addictive. I will leave it at that.
Now, my wish, which may or may not be granted, is to have one of the "winning" couples come and get married at the Eastern 4-H Center. Heck, we could probably even serve as one of the locations where romance and love could be accelerated. Seriously! Have you seen our views? We have a great place for a helicopter to land. If the Bachelor was a Navy Admiral or Coast Guard Commander, they could boat right up to the shoreline - when the tide is in, anyway. That could cause some problems. Romantic dates? Sure...
How about Rock climbing together on our really high rock wall...I'll belay. We could lead the couple and the in-laws (or outlaws) through our team challenge course...I can guarantee to build a team out of 10 semi-normal people. We could also take them on a soundside kayak. It'd be nice if we could get the porpoises to swim in for that...or maybe have an eagle circle overhead - as long as the eagle doesn't swoop in on a ponytail. We can even arrange for private rooms...
Food - yep. Anything from seasoned collards with string of lean and string of fat to Ribeye steaks...but we don't do any of that food stacking. I never understood why chefs wanted to procure fine ingredients, masterfully prepare them, and them stack them on a triangular-shaped plate - all in the name of decor. Sure, you "eat" first with your eyes. But I am through eating when my smashed potatoes topple in to my lap. Our food is good. We prepare it honestly, and serve it humbly. How you attack it on camera is up to you, Mr. Bachelor...and Ms. Bachelorette - I can't guarantee that you act classy when you make a third trip to our scrumptious buffet. But I can understand why you would.
Weather - come in the spring or fall. Winter is cold and windy. Can't come in the summer either...it's hot, and frankly, I enjoy summer camp toooo much to have you out here gallavanting around.
Anyway - it's supposed to snow tonight. The weatherman is never, ever wrong, either. This week we have the Quilting group in...Emmaus come this weekend, then the UNC Nurse's Retreat, then Opening Doors, Then Beaufort County Youth at Work...its BUSY!!!! and that's great...
Enjoy the day...
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