Tricked

Well, it happened. I got tricked by someone. On Halloween. The second ldest trick in the book directly below the "ol' toilet paper in the treetops" trick. This trick was the venerable, yet silly "ol' Vaseline on the Jeep driver's side door handle" trick. I nearly fell backwards this morning when the momentum I usually apply to open my vehicle's door produced no results. I hope nobody saw me or heard me. Wiping my hands, I used words such as "Dern" and "Heck" several times. And at no time, did producing these words at beyond acceptable decibel levels produce a clean pair of hands.

While Vaselining the door handle has some obvious benefits, it continues to rank low on the scales of greatness. TP in the trees is a trick that all in the neighborhood get to enjoy. The White Halloween, though can be dangerous. Some people have lit the TP on fire to rid the trees of the beautiful drapery. What happens next often ends up setting the tree itself on fire. My mom, embarrassingly enough, welcomed the rolling, as she saw it as a great way to avoid purchasing toilet paper, despite the coupons she had clipped. Instead of driving to the grocer, she could walk to the bottom of our driveway. I imagine that toilet paper was filled with dirt, leaf giblets, and insects, but she never mentioned it...

Vaselining a door handle is a discrete way of embarrassing your victim, all in his or her own privacy. No one, unless lurking in the bushes, will see the ensuing embarrassment though.

Still I got no candy on Halloween. What a disappointment. I never even saw the Purple Man. I did see a black cat in my pursuit of a festive Halloween. But no black bear...

I know who tricked me, though. Revenge is a dish best served cold. In the cold. The trickster will remain anonymous, but one hint should be revealed...it's name rhymes with Bee Cripture.

Enjoy the day...