Earl

Dear Hurricane Earl,

I really enjoyed your "visit" on Thursday night. I went to the grocery store yesterday to prepare for your visit. It looks like everyone else had invited you, too - they were all at the grocery store with me. I am sure you visited a lot of houses - sorry about the ones that were boarded up, though. I guess they just didn't want you inside the house. You were a big ole' fellow the last time I saw you on television!

I am not sure what everyone was preparing for you...I saw a lot of milk, eggs, and bread...and some water - but you brought plenty of water with you, right? I didn't know hurricanes liked milk and eggs. I planned something special for you...I had coolers of ice water, a lantern, fruit roll-ups, nectarines, pretzels, and spaghetti sauce. I figured you would like the variety...and every time a hurricane visited me in Alabama, we always had spaghetti or soup - we even made spaghetti on the grill...only to have the electricity power back on the minute after we blessed our meal.

Anyway - I put away all of my valuables - I heard that you can be a pilferer. However, I did leave somethings out for you...a sink full of dirty dishes and an old N'SYNC cd...I need somebody to take that away. It's funny, I put all of my things away, tied down the boats, and tied up the decoys and I really believe you didn't stop by our neighborhood...I'm quite alright with that, but you really should have called if you weren't coming. Even the people on the TV set said you would be by here...you were one rude fellow...it looks like you have taken your friends Fiona and Gaston with you, too. Did they not want to come, either? Since you were so rude this time, I have declared that you, or none of your other buddies are invited to return. We got all ready for YOU. Did you think we would not be prepared? Silly you... us folks on the coast are always ready for a guest, wanted or not. I am sorry the boarded windows appeared uninviting. Nevertheless, don't waste your time in New England...they really are ready for you, but are not interested in seeing you come in as a lesser storm, and whisper wind and rain on their prime real estate. Anyway - you may even run into an early Nor'easter up there one day...they make a silly little hurricane like you appear weak. If you do go, please take lot's of pictures. Nevertheless, thanks for not coming by...

Thanks,
Chase