Unconventional Cookery

Listen up people. Now. Since it gets dark earlier, I find myself at a loss for afternoon activities. Other than constantly painting and rigging decoys, there's not much fun to be had outside in the dark. Tossing the football with a flashlight is about as easy as quantum physics. Still, there are things to do indoors...like cooking. I love to cook. My mom taught me the ways of the kitchen when I was young. I remember making lots of things from scratch. Still, as great of a baker as my mother was, I was often troubled by the rigidity of the recipes and her unwillingness to try something a tad bit different. But I do understand that baking is more science. Cooking, though, is definitely an art. I have prepared some strange dishes for friends, family, and even foes. Bending conventional wisdom has allowed me to impress a lot of folks. Most would agree that I am a decent warmer or produce and meat.

If there are two things I do well, it's grill a hamburger or roast a chicken a la Joel Robuchon. I have all the eastern North Carolina basics mastered, including the sweet potato, collard greens, and peach cobbler. I can even prepare pork parts over flame or through conventional heating. What I have worked on the past several years were ways to "improve" these dishes. I have even created a few more... Either way, here are some I missed or mastered, and some I have recently tried and enjoyed...

Traditional Food: Pork Shoulder
Upgrades: I like to reduce a can of Cheerwine by 75 % and drizzle the pulled meat afterward, along with the traditional vinegar sauce. By the way, I never chop the meat...always PULL the meat!

Traditional Food: Sweet Potatoes
Upgrades: Other than the traditional add-ins such as brown sugar and marshmallows, I find it nice to add applesauce, a bit of molasses, and dried cranberries to the mixture.

Traditional Food: French Fries
Upgrades: I always pull the fries out of the fryer, drain them, then fry them again. They come out crisper. After retracting them from the fryer, they all get a little fresh sage and a bit of salt. Old Bay is awesome on fries, too, but I can't take credit for that.

Traditional Food: Store-bought Pancake Mix
Upgrades: Instead of water, I like to add Orange Juice to the mixture, especially if I'll be adding bananas or blueberries to the pancakes.

Traditional Food: Spaghetti
Upgrades: Most folks, I assume, boil their noodles in salted or plain water. Some do it up right with chicken broth. I like to boil green tea, and then add the noodles. I also do the same with rice. It adds flavor, without the extra sodium from chicken broth.

Traditional Food: Store Bought Dry Cake Mixture
Upgrades: Boxed cake mix is the most versatile dessert in the world. I don't make cake from scratch, because each new cake is an opportunity and adventure. If I'm making Orange Supreme, the cake gets mixed with OJ, and then, upon completion of baking, it gets Orange Jello poured over it and then allowed to set. Chocolate cakes mixes are always infused with coffee. I'll put anything into a cake. I have even put bacon and maple syrup icing on cupcakes, which is 1,000,000 times better than you can imagine.

There's a whole lot more...especially in the sweets portion of my repertoire. English Toffee with mint is great. Just last night I was alerted to the combination of popcorn and candy corn. It was incredible. I imagine that a little homemade caramel stirred into popcorn and candy corn would be supreme. I have to be right on that. I'm also working on a project that will see that ordinary bread pudding parts, such as stale bread, are replaced with Krispy Kreme donuts, bran muffins, and biscuits. That, too, would be stupendous. Or stupid.

Either way, the kitchen is a great way to be creative, as long as you have an unexpired fire extinguisher and a friend or two with an adventurous palette.

Enjoy the day...