Snow Paste

Quick...exit out of this blog and run...no drive...to the absolute nearest grocery store. You better hurry. Get these three items: Milk, Bread, and Eggs. Come back and read this blog.
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Now that you're back and you're "staples" are put away, you are now a member of an elite throng of folks. These high-fallutin' frenzies are the ones who "stock up" on the "essentials" before a snow storm. And since we are having a snow tonight, the local grocers' bread, milk, and egg racks are sure to have only tumbleweed...

I have never understood this cultural phenomenon. Maybe it's an attempt to see all of the other Jones' in the store and to let them know that you, too, care about your families survival until the snow melts...2 hours later. However, grocers certainly appreciate the foresight that citizens exhibit...going as far to mention milk and bread on their color marquees. You can even pick these essentials up in the impulse isle (the candy rack by the checkout line)...located along with disposable cameras, lip balm, and shoelaces.

If electricity ever went out these items would be rendered useless if not harmful, though. I reach for more "stable" items - toaster pastries, bottled water, and canned soups. A couple of canned heats is also good.

After much research, a renowned snow and y2k survivalist, located in this very office complex was able to enlighten me. "He" says that all of the items can be combined into a paste and consumed. This, in essence, provides maximum calories, and "thins" out each ingredient, stretching the grand sum of the items over a period of a couple of days. The taste alone will make it last quite a while. Here's the recipe.

1 Hour Power Outage
2 eggs, shells removed.
1 cup milk
3 slices of bread
a frozen stick

Do not attempt to make this paste until electricity has ceased to course the copper wires in one's home. Quickly send your most able-bodied family member in search of a frozen stick. Find a bowl, or the hood of a jacket and combine eggs and milk. Stir vigorously with stick. Allow youngest to forage first by using the bread as a dipping device to soak up the liquid. When bread is gone, the toughest family members should drink the liquid contents.

Seriously, here's my problem with the bread, milk, and egg scenario. People go out to get these items immediately. Media coverage insists that these are needed to survive. Those who can't get the items appear to be totally hopeless. Survival instincts, such as looking in the cabinets for other food, are totally lost these days. The worst thing that can happen to me in a power outage is sunset. It's me, the dark, and no TV. No internet. No light to read. No clock to measure my electricty-less endurance. Oil lamps are nice, but dangerous for indoor use. Hopefully, families can use this time to hang out together. Some of my best memories growing up occurred during power outages and snow storms.

I will never forget the day that me, my mom, and my sisters ran to the storm pit...mom slipped down in a mud puddle. The sky then broke. We laughed as she soaked. That was 15 years ago. The Blizzard of 1993 was a good one, too. We just went outside and played, even in the dark...Alabamians see that kind of snow once in a lifetime. Hurricane Katrina found us making spaghetti on propane stoves on the back porch. We played cards and napped in between thunder claps. We were lucky and thankful to be together and safe...Good luck tonight!

Enjoy the snow!