Open Letter to Dock of the Bay Committee

Dear Dock of the Bay Committee,

Let me begin this letter by thanking you all for your hard work thus far. Putting on a beach music fundraiser is difficult. A mastery of the ability to discern the tastes of discerning patrons is certainly required. For this year's event, I have a couple of tiny requests, all of which, I have outlined below:

If you continue to serve locally sourced, fresh crab dip, please ensure that I am guaranteed to receive an extra morsel. The rich, nearly butter-like, crab dip is a true delicacy that tastes as if it was pulled from Bulls Bay mere minutes prior to preparation...

If you continue to offer unique silent auction items, please hide the bid sheet for the round of golf. I want to win a golf trip for the third year. Last year's trip was in Tarboro. The course was well-manicured and a challenge to play, especially since Lee kept hiding my golf balls. The prior year, a golf pass to Nags Head Links was the ultimate prize. Having played at golf courses all over the southeast, Nags Head Links offers unique challenges. It is one of the few "true" links courses I have ever played and requires accurate shot placement, and a windproof golf ball.

If you continue to play beach music, please do not make me dance. I enjoy the music enough without dancing. And now that I know what "shagging" is, I am not afraid to watch all of the patrons enjoy their time in front of the band. The Shag is a dance of low country tradition that is endanger of losing its appeal to younger generations. Shagging was generated in the 1930's and 40's...it's a blanket term for many swing dances. The word itself is traced back to late 19th century Flea Hop dancers. It's also the State Dance of North and South Carolina. So, Committee, if you ever change this dance, please make sure that the dance is changed to whatever the current State Dance is...

If you continue to "Salute the Sunset", please promise me that it will continue to NOT involve 21 guns.

If you continue to serve sliced Steamship Round, please ensure that the bone, or shank, continues to be exposed. Also, will you please continue to slice the meat across the grain, which increases the tenderness of the lean meat. In my personal belief, no party is complete without a slab of livestock served warm and juicy.

If you continue to serve Shrimp...please make sure they are as tasty as in years' past.

If you continue to invite so many people, will you please make sure that they all continue to have a wonderful time, just as in years' past? If a patron seems to be having less than a stellar time, please relocate the patron to the Chocolate Fountain, complete with brownies, blondies, marshmallows, and fruit - all ready for submersion in cocoa. This will lift even the lowest spirit. Chocolate Fountains are the greatest "social lubricants" on the market. We will have two "social lubricants" available for responsible consumption, right?

If you continue to host this event, can you please talk to the Weatherman at WITN. I want sun and seventies...PLEASE!

One last request...please ensure that I spell my name correctly on the name tag...

Best,
Chase Luker
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Dock of the Bay will be on May 2, and the "gates" open at 6:00 pm. Event registrations are available online at www.eastern4hcenter.org. You can also just, show-up. RSVP'ers can purchase an event ticket for $40...it's $50 at the door. Bring an appetite for fun, friends, and philanthropy...proceeds go to camperships for summer campers and our capital building fund.

Enjoy the day....