Customer Service

I hate customer service these days. Well, I hate receiving it, anyway. Customer Service has deteriorated from "Hello, How may I help you?" to (in computerized voice) "please press 1 for options". Thankfully, the Eastern 4-H Center has the technology to prevent such terrible customer service. Unfortunately, Lee will not let us have any robots...but we do all have voice boxes...and of course, some may use them more than others.

Yesterday I picked up the phone to my credit card company...keep in mind the phone was invented to allow for CONVERSATION over long distances...I never talked to a single person until the very end. The worst part about "new"customer service is the "voice recognition". I am pretty expressive when I speak, and to compound the problem, the automatron voice's ears must be clogged - When I said "NO WAY" for additional fees, the automatron says (in computerized voice) "Did you say 'Oh Yay', please press 1 if this is correct."

This is how the "conversation" went:

Phone: Ring, Ring

Automatron: Thank you for calling Super Bank, for instructions in espanol apriete por favor ocho. For billing options, press 1. To change your personal information press 2. For balance inquiries press 3. To subscribe to additional products, press 4. To pay your bill press 5. For more options press 6 (there are no other options). To repeat this menu press 7.

Chase: (presses # 5, then hums)

Automatron: (in computer voice) Thank you for pressing 5, are you sure you want to pay your bill? Press 1 if this is correct.

Chase: (presses # 1, thinks "well, not really")

Automatron: (in computer voice) Please enter your account number followe....

Chase: (enters account number, and realizes that there was an additional instruction)

Automatron: (in computer voice) (after waiting for 30 seconds) "Please enter yout account number followed by the pound key")

Chase: (presses 9184209014#)

Automatron: (In computer voice)Please wait, while I, the computer, direct your call.

Chase: (doodling)

Automatron: (in computer voice) Please hold, until the very next customer service representative is available to take your call. Please enjoy the terrible background music that is interrupted by special announcements of other products we would like to sell you and force you into debt.

Chase: (doodling)

Real Voice: (Reads from paper, nasally) Hello Mr Cheese Lucker

Chase: (screams) IT is CHASE LUKER!

Real Voice: (Reads from paper, nasally) I am sorry about your name Mr. Looker, how can I help you today?

Chase: I want to pay my bill...

Real Voice: (Reads from paper, nasally)I would be glad to help you with this Mr. Looker. How much do you want to pay?

Chase: All of it...

Real Voice:(Reads from paper, nasally) Are you sure?

Chase: Yes!

Real Voice: OK, I show a balance of 123.03 on your account, is this correct?

Chase: Yes.

Real Voice: Please allow for my computer to process this for you Mr. Looker....It has processed is there any other way I can help you today Mr. Looker?

Chase: Can you give me the past 30 minutes of my life back? (Hangs up)

People want to sneak and trick you into more options...4-H does not do that. If you want a great club that has, does, and will teach youth responsibility, practical skills, and life skills, you just sign up at the county extension office. You can't join 4-H online (yet, anyway).

The Eastern 4-H Center has Ms. Mittie. By her own tasteful elegance, Ms. Mittie fields hundreds of calls a day and directs them to the people in the back of the offices. She always lets it ring twice...this is so that we do not appear to be overzealous about receiving a phone call. She can transfer a call in 1.3 seconds. If we are not in the office, Ms. Mittie doesn't say "He's unavailable"...she tells the truth - "He's gone into town, but he'll be back".

If you are a customer at the Eastern 4-H Center, rest assured you will get the best service we can give you, whether on the phone, in person, or through email. I strive to be as succint as possible in all forms of my communications. I enjoy serving the public, as does everybody else here. To bad that it's only small business that CARE about customers, as small businesses have fewer customers.

If you answer a phone today, be courteous. If you help somebody today, do it with a smile. Do it in earnesty and honesty.

Enjoy your day...