Memorial Day and its preceding weekend are rapidly approaching. I like Memorial Day, yet the trips to the boat ramp can be troublesome, ridiculous, and even dramatic.
Most boaters use their boats three times per year...Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Labor Day. For some reason, those boaters are the ones that launch immediately before I do. The problem with using a boat so little is:
(1) First of all, the boater can't effectively back a trailer - they'll put have the trailer in the ramp and the other half on top of the dock.
(2) Secondly, the boat battery is dead, which holds up progress even more.
(3) Thirdly, the boaters always having a crying baby.
(4) Fourthly, The gas is the boat is "bad", because it has sat up so long.
(5) Novice Boaters then realize that once the gas is bad, that they have also failed to put the plug in the boat.
(6) Obscenities generally follow, regarding the location of the plug or plug hole.
(7) As this is unfolding, my offers to assist are disregarded, as the boater fears revocation of their man-card.
(8) Their stubbornness results in my hysterical bouts of laughter, which is my ultimate undoing, as I miss my opportunity to launch, and another novice boater, who does not understand ramp ethics, snatches my place in line.
Nevertheless, if you are an experienced boater, you can do the following things to avoid such trouble on Holiday weekends...
(1) Avoid boating all together. Cook a pig, instead.
(2) Find a remote ramp or slide that's not so glamorous.
If you are a novice boater and are insistent on making friends and not enemies at the boat ramp, consider these moves:
(1) CHARGE YOUR BOAT BATTERY THE NIGHT BEFORE!
(2) Use a fuel additive to keep your gas stabilized...all the time.
(3) Locate the plug before you leave your abode. Before pulling out of the driveway, insert the public in the plug hole. Don't confuse the plug hole with the live well hole, either.
(4) Have plenty of ropes and employ family members to hold the boat once the trailer is in the water, but before you unhook the winch straps.
Other great and legal ideas:
(1) PFD's for every soul on board. Have a throwable PFD, too.
(2) If skiing or wake boarding or any of that other incredibly hard mess, always have a spotter to watch your skier.
(3) Do not drink and boat, PLEASE! Most boaters do not know the rules of the water as it is. Mixing alcohol with ignorance is usually an award-winning recipe for disaster and doom.
(4) Do drink lots of water and pack plenty of healthy snacks...especially if you have young people aboard your craft.
(5) If you must be boater certified, ensure that you are before driving a boat or personal watercraft...Ole Green Jeans will be out. And they write tickets to save lives. I'm glad they do it. Know law abiding citizen has ever gotten a ticket. When breaking laws, your odds will increase.
(7) Have a horn or whistle, and a fire extinguisher...make sure that all of your nav lights work, too.
Easy rules for an easy day.
Enjoy the day...
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