Labor Day...it's not a day to go into labor, ladies. It's also a day designed not to do manual labor, but that's what most folks will do - and they don't even know it!
These are the plans of my friends, and most will be laborious... I will rate them on a scale of 1-5 (1 being comatose, 5 being picking up toothpicks in the desert).
Cutting trails for hunting season (3)
Going to the beach with family (4.8)
Fishing (4.7)
Mowing the yard (2.6)
Sunbathing (1.1)
Recreational Boating (2.0)
What's worse, some people will not have the day "off" and will report to work while their friends are "enjoying" themselves. But fear not, those who will work. The friends you have will be equally miserable...have you ever heard someone say "I need a day off to get over the day off"? It is my hope that your vacationing friends will say this...and your reply to them should be "hush your dern mouth."
This is why going to the Outer Banks will not be fun for the family of your friends:
They will not leave on time...and the Alligator River Bridge will be opening every 15 minutes to let the sailboats through. Sailing is not normal, either. Most sailboats have motors, which defeats the purpose of a sail, except that many sailors think that they look regal aboard their vessel. Nevertheless, if your friend's family plans to leave Columbia at 8:00 am, they can arrive in Nag's Head by 11:00 am, hopefully. By this point, all of the public beach access lots will be full of cars. The family will decide to go and eat to kill some time...they will kill plenty of time in the lobby of any of those crazy themed restaurants...just go to Basnight's Lone Cedar Cafe...you'll probably have to wait there, too - but it is totally worth it. By this point, the children will need their nap or some type of discipline. You, the worker, can laugh at your friend the vacationer because you should imagine the thought of them threatening their child to "act right" in front of every tourister at the beach...now imagine the children crying even louder...eventually they'll go to the beach, get sunburned, and then have to drive back through terrible traffic and the Alligator River Bridge.
What about your friend that is going fishing? Here's why that will be no fun:
Everybody else will be fishing, too. There are only so many fish to go around...and fish are going to take the day off, too.Your friend will get hot and sweaty, the boat may or may not crank, and the fisherman will have an angry wife to come home to...because he went fishing instead of mowing the lawn.
Now, your friend that is recreational boating may "1 up you"...but:
A boat is essentially a hole in the water that one tosses money into. Something will go awry with the boat, more than likely. If it doesn't, the recreational boater will have to watch out for sailboats and fishing boats. They will be in the way. I do not know a recreational boater that enjoys seeing sailboats tack into their course of travel...but the sailers can't help it, they only kinda know what they are doing. The fisherman will stay out of your friends' way, but they will also fish in only the shaded areas of the body of water...so sunburn for the recreational boater is a strong probability.
What will I do...I will not fish or sail, unless my boat breaks down...I'll be forced to use the wind to steer my boat and I will survive on fish. The "Boating Cycle" is a lot like the water cycle...I will also do somekind of manual labor, only to commemorate the Labor Day holiday.I will watch some college football, and pray that Auburn beats their foe...
enjoy the holiday...
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